It’s New Year’s Eve, a time for thinking about the past year, reflecting on the achievements and milestones reached. In a minute or two, 2011 will begin and a time to look forward to what may occur. Each new dawn brings with it a new beginning, and the new year brings a “greater” new beginning.
What do I hope for this year? That my family remains healthy and happy. That I can continue my growth as a person and a photographer. What things I will resolve to accomplish this year? My general New Year’s resolutions involve looking for perfection. :) And for some strange reason, these resolutions are always broken before the 2nd of January!! This year I resolve not to strive for perfection, but for excellence.
I have been listening to and reading Dr Brené Brown on living with imperfection and vulnerability, and much of her words strike a resonance within me. Her ‘wholehearted’ approach to life and creativity I have found to be inspiring. Her discussions on vulnerability (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UoMXF73j0c&feature=channel ) are challenging.
Creativity comes from vulnerability, and being creative creates more vulnerability. Her view is that without vulnerability we protect ourselves from pain, shame, fear, anger and hurt but in losing those emotions we also lose joy, passion, love and creativity. We cannot choose which emotions we no longer want to feel, and so by trying to limit pain, we in effect, limit our ability to feel all emotions and therefore to live fully.
So this year, my goal is to allow myself to be vulnerable. Not an easy ask for someone who survived on closing off the bad, refusing to see when things weren’t working, managing by digging deeper, trying harder and waiting for the day it would all just magically get better. This is a ‘fear-full’ step, and already I am looking for ways to protect myself… which sort of defeats the purpose!!
But with my vulnerability exposed, I am hoping that the images I create will reflect a clearer, less distant, less protective response to the world. If I am open to the world and all my emotions, then it seems to me that the world will respond more openly as well.
New dawns, new dreams, new beginnings.